i just taught my mom what a man whore is

Giada and Bobby Flay are the cause of a LOT of emotions for my mom.  I don’t keep up on Food Network gossip, but for years they have been the main source of stress for her.  According to her, Giada is a slut, because Giada and Bobby had a thing.  Or still have a thing, possibly. And maybe one or both of them were married to other people.  

Oh and sometimes “Giada really likes to show her bosoms”, which is a very slut-like thing to do, according to the Silent Generation.  

Tonight I asked if Bobby is also a slut.  I have never engaged before, but it occurred to me that she never said Bobby is a slut, just Giada. According to Mo (Mo is my mom, that’s her name), men can’t be sluts.  

Well even I know that is not true, and I don’t know a lot about these types of things. I said Bobby can absolutely be a slut, and that is called being a Man Whore. Two to tango and all that.  Also, why is that even a phrase?  Why don’t people just say “it takes two people to engage in immoral behavior” or something?  Why tango?  Why a dance?  It takes two people to do a LOT of things.  I shan’t be using that phrase again, and I regret my use of it in the first place.  

Now that Mo has the phrase Man Whore at her disposal, I am afraid where it might lead.  You see, I made the mistake of overusing two phrases in my high school and college years, and my mom started using them and has not stopped.  One, I still use, and that is using “ass” to emphasize anything else – big ass, dumb ass, weird ass.  That one is fine.   

The one I really, truly regret saying was very 90’s and I really don’t know what made me use it because I had no idea what it meant.  But….here it is.  I taught my mother to say “That sucks donkey”.  I don’t…I mean, I am pretty positive that…she doesn’t know how people end that phrase.  At first, neither did I, I had no idea why we were saying anything sucked donkey, but other people said it, and I tend to repeat things, and there you have it.  A very nice friend, at least a full year into this phrase being used, had to tell me what the rest of it was when she realized I had no idea.  And then I had to live with the fact that my mom probably had no idea.  And she used it a LOT.   

But for real – it takes two people to shake hands, or play chess, or sing a duet.  WHY TANGO?